Everyone has had thoughts that have stressed them out, rattled around and around in their brain and just wouldn’t go away. The problem with these thoughts is they get stuck in our heads and destroy our focus, creativity, and productivity. One nagging thought can throw us off an hour, day, or even a week. We realize that we just need to “let it go” but it isn’t always so simple.
“Letting go” doesn’t mean ignoring an issue. It means realizing that there is nothing you can do about it. Instead of allowing it to consume your mind, you put it aside until you are better able to deal with it. Obviously, your best bet is to just deal with what’s bothering you. Do the project, have the conversation, go deal with the overdue bill, etc. But if you can’t address the issue right away, you are much better off letting it go than letting it stew and fester in your mind.
Here are 7 ways to let go when something is bothering you:
Breathe
It is amazing what a few simple deep breathes can do for you. When you find stress rising, close your eyes and breath in as deeply as you can. Fill yourself with air from the bottom of your belly to the top of your chest, hold the air in for a few seconds, and then let it out. Repeating several time. For added impact, imagine that with each breath out your are letting your troubles and negative energy go, imagine them floating away on fall leaves or playing out on a movie screen.
This is the simplest and fastest way to let go and refocus your mind.
Empty Your Mind
When something is bothering us, we forget that we are the ones in charge of our thoughts. One of the best things you can do to let go of your troubles is to calm your mind by emptying it of thoughts.
This is very much like meditation, where our goal is to become skillful at removing all thoughts from our mind and be still. When you empty your mind, you remove all the negative thoughts and can exert a certain amount of control over what you let back in. This is not easy and must be practiced often. It is best to practice and develop this skills when you are not stressed, that way it will be easier to do when you start having thoughts.
Visualize
There are many great visualization techniques to help you let go of your troubles. Here are a few:
– Imagine the thing that is bothering you, and then visualize placing it in a balloon and watching it float away
– In your head, write down the issue and then imagine yourself crumpling it up and throwing it away
– Picture the thing that is bothering you, then change the color in your mind to black and white. Then shrink it down so it is very small. Then imagine it very far away.
Some of these ideas may sound odd, but they can do wonders for helping you to put troubling thoughts aside.
Write
Writing is a powerful way of getting thoughts out of your head. The simplest way to do this is to take out some paper and let whatever is in your head flow out. Don’t edit, don’t beat yourself up for what you are feeling, and don’t try to be correct. Just write.
Another method is to write an in-depth letter to the person or situation that is troubling you. You never have to send the letter! In fact, you probably shouldn’t; it will just add another layer of stress to your mind. Instead, put it in a drawer or throw it away. The act of writing your thoughts will be cathartic in and of itself.
Distract Yourself
Not the best solution, but let’s face it: most of our stress will diminish with a little time and distance. Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of things for a little while. Go out with friends, exercise, find a hobby. The key is that you do something that truly engages your mind.
Ritualize
This is a way of physically “letting go” of the issues that is bugging you. A ritual is a consistent procedure that you regularly follow. By using your ritual practice of letting go, you can train your mind to automatically let things go, once you start the ritual. Examples of this are writing down something that is bothering you and burning it in a fireplace, or take a picture that presents your thought and throw it away in a public garbage can a few blocks away.
The act of doing something physical represent letting something go is very powerful. Using rituals may sound strange, but try it and see how it goes!
Use Logic
This is probably the least effective method, but worth a shot, especially if you are a logical person. Keep explaining to yourself all the logical reasons why you should stop worrying. We are very emotional, by nature but doing a pro/con list or challenging your thoughts can help us view a situation more rationally. Troubling thoughts are dangerous, sneaky things that can take hold, grow, into something completely distorted from reality.
The next time you have a thought that has taken hold, practice one or more of these steps. Most importantly remember “you must be present to win.”
Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space and in that space is your power and your freedom
-Viktor Frankl